Pants 0. Shit 1.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
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