I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize