We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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