Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So vagazzling was a success
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
