Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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