The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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