My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
