do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
