Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
