omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
