I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
