no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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