maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
