is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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