i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
