I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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