youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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