The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
