the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
