And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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