I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
my poor anus
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
