Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize