The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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