did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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