Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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