ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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