4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
