He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I smell like Dick and happiness
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
