I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
