I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
