I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize