There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She bit a glass in half.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
did you just send me my own nude
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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