Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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