I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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