I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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