get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
