i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
