ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
