I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
