omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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