when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
