i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
