so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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