Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize