Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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