is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
