Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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