come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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