just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
