another moral hangover. fuck.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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