I cockslap morals
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
