The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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