Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
