Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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