these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
