Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
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I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
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As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I wear drunk well.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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