I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
