And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
