Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
