She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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