I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
